I'm Pretty Sure That My Dog Is A Zombie:

OK,

So I'm sure many of you wonder why I assume that my dog is a Zombie. Although I don't have very much evidence that points to this statement... I do think that we may have just enough.

One word folks...

BRAAAAAIIIIIINNNNSSSSS...

No matter what kind of stuffed animal we give her, it never fails. Maggie my awesome 10 year old Golden Retriever, make it a point to decapitate and remove the stuffing Representative of the brains. She doesn't stop there though.. what she doesn't eat, she always seems to enjoy a good roll through the remains of said stuffed animal. So basically... it's like a Zombie who eats someones brain and then rips out the intestines just to roll around in them.

Maggie also enjoys groaning. No not growling but groaning as if her body had been dead for years and it was moving for the first time in ages. Now... here's the kicker. This is where I lose trust for her.

One afternoon I was napping on the bed. As I drifted off to la la land, I suddenly felt as if someone were staring at me. Worse yet... I felt a warm breath on my face. As I allowed one eye to open slowly... there she sat. Breathing and smiling in a sinister way. I knew she was up to no good. I told her to go lay down. No issues after that... UNTIL that night. Once again as I lay sleeping I got that feeling. And then... I could smell this horrific rotting corpse smell. The stench of death. As I opened my eyes. There she sat staring and smiling and allowing a stink bath of breath to blow in my face. As I closed my eyes again... I thought it's all good she just wants to go out... so I open them again. This time she was less than an inch from my face. Clearly she was there to kill me and suck out my brain for nourishment. Fortunately for me I have a superhuman strength bed spread which I was able to pull up over my head protecting me from the Zombie Dog. She hasn't tried anything since but I can never be too sure... because late at night I can still here her cries for more...

BRAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSS....

**The Previous blog was brought to you by NyQuil! Feel sick? Down that shit... if you don't fall asleep you'll still write some crazy ass blogs.**